makkaimic's Xanga

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Sat, 16 Sep 2006 19:15:30 GMT

Reading Thru My Old Pages 17.09.2006

I've been spending this night reading all of my old posts. I've not been updating this for months, i've got myself another place, another secret place. So visitors there's nothing more for you to check over here. While reading all of those pages I keep thinking how stupid I am, living such a crap life, forsaking so much things which I should have treasured. It's a lesson, it's a lecture. After months and months of regrets, I let the past slip away tonight. It's a special night for me, though nothing special happened. It's a night I can finally let my past be my past, not my past in my present. Dear friends, I've got a good and well-paid job, I've got a regular and scheduled life. It's a beautiful life and I'm happy with it. I'm experiencing another page of my life. I still have my music, my nice collegues, my friends, my dearest family, and hopefully, no more politics.

No more hates, no more anger.

Juz one thing still hanging over my mind, after more than 9 months, something haven't change at all. I still miss you. Btw I'm not expecting you to read it, coz I've been avoiding yours for such a long time. I have no idea how u're doing, how u're living with your life but truly I hope you're fine and happy with everything around you, and happy with your life. I'm a sinner, and maybe this year is the time for my redemption. I dunno. I dunno what to say to you, or maybe i'm juz talking to air, but who cares.

On 11/9 I've been spending the whole night, thinking of our past. It's always a special night for me where I remember every single frame of the scene we've been building up.

Your birthday is coming soon. I wish you a great birthday and everyday would be a great and happy day for the rest of your life. I juz wish you to be happy, and this is what I ask God for. Live happily you *always-18-year-old* lady, and I want you to know you're forever living in my heart : )

Monday, July 24, 2006

Mon, 24 Jul 2006 08:17:20 GMT

Cool Night at Fringe Club 22.07.2006

It's with Slash!SAKURA!Slash! again.
Better arrangement this time.
Full of fun.
Yea!!

Monday, May 29, 2006

Mon, 29 May 2006 10:03:49 GMT

A wonderful night with my friend 27.05.2006

A cool night having lots of fun, meeting new people, having lots of chats.
It's been a long-lost feeling but anyway I felt quite alright with it.
People coming and people leaving, that's the way this world goes.
Better just let it be.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Thu, 20 Apr 2006 04:07:14 GMT

An Old Chinese Story 20.04.2006

Ä©¬Û¦p»P·G»áªº¡m±N¬Û©M¡n¡C

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Thu, 13 Apr 2006 19:03:55 GMT

Counting 5,4,3,2,1 12.04.2006

Thursday - Counting 5-4-3-2-1 (Live)

Friday, March 31, 2006

Fri, 31 Mar 2006 18:30:04 GMT

My Worst Show Ever 31.03.2006

I fucked up everything in Fringe Club tonight, I totally fucked up everything. I've played my worst show ever and I still can't figure out what the matters with me tonight. I broke my guitar strings twice, I used Jan's guitar and it's always out of tune. The sound is so sucked that I can't even hear what I'm playing and in the middle of the run down I wish I could juz stop and walk down the stage. I have no idea how to calm myself down from this great disappointment towards myself, I dunno how to adjust my emotion. Maybe I've been over-rating myself. What I'm urging now is to get myself some sleep, in order to stay unconscious.

I dunno what's the problem with the soundman tonight. I have no doubt to his techniques but I have to admit that his attitude sucks. He did upset us in the very beginning, while we're setting up our stuff. He fucking said to us, "The equipments are here but you guys juz dunno how to set them up!", in front of the audience. Meanwhile I was setting my mic stand and I think I could definitely handle it well. Juz a mic stand, mate. No big deal. If he teased me in front of the audience, it's fine to me coz I won't give a damn. But he's embarassing my bandmates, goddamnit, unforgivable! I'll meet you again in May, you little cloud, and I swear I won't be that kind to you again.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Sun, 26 Mar 2006 07:37:27 GMT

Farewell Single Life Tour 26.03.2006

Check out Chochukmo's music and tour date: http://www.myspace.com/chochukmo

After the long lasting days of misunderstandings, the stuffs and troubles are finally fixed. This is the first time I speak straight from my heart to them. I'm not that kind of person who'd like to reveal my every little single drops of feelings to others, you know. Anyway, a good chat breaks all barriers among us, at least I think in this way. It's nice though I'm so pissed off after knowing all those shits that freak had done to me (Freak is already a very polite term as I actually know much more bad words to describe this kind of person). I once treated him as my bro and I hid nothing from him. I really dunno why the hell he's doing all of this. It's a total betrayal, no fucking excuse. But anyway I won't give a shit to him anymore so keep it up, I don't fucking care.

In the 26th of March last year, Homework was doing the "All from a start" show at City University. I still remember the rabbit mask and the days we had. So today is a special day for me, for I've been going thru all the bitterness for already one year. A memorable day, isn't it?!

Dudes, things are going really well with Chochukmo. It's so great that Chochukmo is invited to play at the amazing HK Live! organised by HK Magazine. I remember SIQ and Soler had been taking part in the previous HK Live!. It's a very well organised music fest and I just can't wait to rock over there.

More details of HK Live!: http://www.hk-live.com

Starting from the end of March, Chochukmo is starting her Farewell Single Life Tour with bunches of gigs in March, April and May. So my friends, you gotta come and support us. Be prepared to have fun as well as to get fucking drunk!!

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Tue, 21 Mar 2006 23:17:14 GMT

The Drunkards 22.03.2006

A wonderful picture taken by the Underground photographer at Underground 21, while Yan, Jan and I were happily watching the show. I've found this pic at the underground website and I can't wait to get it uploaded here. I love this pic so much coz there are people inside that I really treasure.

Recently being upset by something happened at the Ngau Pang gig and the *Kaiser Chiefs* incident, which makes me upset, disappointed and freaking mad. Does that fucking blue T-shirt means so much to him that would make him treat me like a fucking shit? I wonder. I'll give him back that shit and I swear I'll never wear it again. Never the blue one again.

I never feel ashamed on making music like I do this time. I feel like being let down, being failed. Disappointment fulfils me. He was once my very good friend but I have no idea why he's been turning into such a jerk. People had been saying bad things about him but I don't fucking care. I only care what I see, and how I've been treated. And he did let me down, mate. He did. I'm totally disappointed.

Have been reading The Drunkard (°s®{) by Lau Yi Cheong (¼B¥HÔJ) these days over and over again. It's the first Chinese novel ever that was written in the stream of consciousness (·NÃÑ¬y) style. It's a ground-breaking achievement since at that moment Chinese Literature are still stuck in the mud after the *Five-four Movement* (¤¥|¹B°Ê), making no progress at all. In the novel there are actually some quotes that I love very much.
Just as a sharing or what, here are the quotes:

¡§°sÅÜ¦¨¤F¤@ºØÅ@·Ó¡A±`±`±a§Ú¥h¨ì¥t¤@Ó¥@¬É¡C
    §Ú¥¼¥²³ßÅwªÅ¥Õ¦üªº¹Ò¬É¡A¬é¬O§ó°Q¹½Áà´cªº²{¹ê¡C¡¨
"Alcohol turns into some kind of passports that always take me to another world.
    I may not like the realm of emptiness, I just hated the ugly reality more."

¡§¥ÍÄÃªº·P±¡¤S³{¸¨«B¤Ñ¡A«ä·Q¦b·Ï°é¸Ì®»°gÂÃ¡K¡¨
  "My rusty emotion meets the rainy days,
   my cerebration is playing hide and seek inside circles of smoke."

Friday, March 17, 2006

Fri, 17 Mar 2006 10:19:14 GMT

Chisel the 1st Wall 17.03.2006

An attractive show organised by "Chisel My Movement".
Great lineup, nice venue, awesome poster, 65 bucks for entry.
What can you ask for more?
True music lovers should definitely go and support.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Fri, 03 Mar 2006 08:15:04 GMT

Image of the Invisible 03.03.2006

It's finally done, the very first song of Homework. I poured all of my feelings, sadness, depressions and tears into the lyrics. My most satisfied lyrics ever. All my feelings are now inside the lyrics, not in my veins and nerves and blood anymore. As the song's done, everything should be really done. These days I keep telling myself it's all over, but nightmares everynight still. Then I'll sing myself this song, to look back, to watch how things were going once again. As I've finished the lyrics, I know all of my feelings should be locked up inside this song. No more whispers in my veins. Tears no more.

Still can't think of a suitable name for the song. Maybe a few words aren't enough for me to express my complicated emotion towards it.

In a room of black and white

I'm in a seat of chains and shackles

Without a single clue or hint

They put my head towards the silver screen

Playing the clips of him and you

I feel like Alex in Clockwork Orange

When he's whispering in your ear,

They hold my eyelids fixed and tight.

I'm falling into your spiral

While my body's spinning in circle

Where and when would I be crashing in the end?

Take my skin and take my mercy,

If it's your way to see me naked.

If it's the way you want to see me disappear.

There's nowhere to hide from you.

Can I take your breathe off you?

For another day, for another night,

I'll miss you, kiss you until the day I die.

Don't you have no fear, don't you have no tear.

Cos you and I would have to die some days.

But you'll have to go today.

I'm alone in an empty room.

I hear nothing and have no vision.

I feel their whispers in my veins, under my skin.

I have no way to hold on, to hold on.

So how long,

How long would I be falling into your spiral?

While my body's spinning in circle

Where and when would I be crashing in the end?

Take my skin and take my mercy,

If it's your way to see me naked.

If it's the way you want to see me disappear.

There's nowhere to hide from you.

Can I take your breathe off you?

Can I share my breathe with you?

I'm falling into your spiral

While my body's spinning in circle

Where and when would I be crashing in the end?

Take my skin and take my mercy,

If it's your way to see me naked.

If it's the way you want to see me disappear.

But I'm still here. Dropping off no tear. Yes I'm still here now.

Your whispers flow inside my veins. I tear off my skin.

Pouring all my blood into a can, wrap it in silk.

I'll spend ten dollars fifty cents, to buy some stamps.

Post you the days we've ever had.

Now here's the end.

For another day, for another night,

I'll kiss you, miss you until the world collapse.

Don't you have no fear, don't you have no tear.

Cos you and I would have to die some days.

We¡¦d have to die some days.

We all have to die some days.

But you'll have to go today.