Reading Thru My Old Pages  17.09.2006

I've been spending this night reading all of my old posts. I've not been updating this for months, i've got myself another place, another secret place. So visitors there's nothing more for you to check over here. While reading all of those pages I keep thinking how stupid I am, living such a crap life, forsaking so much things which I should have treasured. It's a lesson, it's a lecture. After months and months of regrets, I let the past slip away tonight. It's a special night for me, though nothing special happened. It's a night I can finally let my past be my past, not my past in my present. Dear friends, I've got a good and well-paid job, I've got a regular and scheduled life. It's a beautiful life and I'm happy with it. I'm experiencing another page of my life. I still have my music, my nice collegues, my friends, my dearest family, and hopefully, no more politics. 

No more hates, no more anger.

Juz one thing still hanging over my mind, after more than 9 months, something haven't change at all. I still miss you. Btw I'm not expecting you to read it, coz I've been avoiding yours for such a long time. I have no idea how u're doing, how u're living with your life but truly I hope you're fine and happy with everything around you, and happy with your life. I'm a sinner, and maybe this year is the time for my redemption. I dunno. I dunno what to say to you, or maybe i'm juz talking to air, but who cares.

On 11/9 I've been spending the whole night, thinking of our past. It's always a special night for me where I remember every single frame of the scene we've been building up.

Your birthday is coming soon. I wish you a great birthday and everyday would be a great and happy day for the rest of your life. I juz wish you to be happy, and this is what I ask God for. Live happily you *always-18-year-old* lady, and I want you to know you're forever living in my heart : )